For angry pessimists the cup is always half empty. There never is enough. Somehow the world is against them or holding out. Unlike depressed people they often have high energy levels. Though often seen by others as successful, they consistently express discontent.
Dissatisfied and discontented - they are angry and impatient self-styled victims of the incompetence or selfishness of others, blaming basic shortcomings of others & unfairness of the world for their own misery.
They argue incessantly. Even when acting as devil's advocate - they easily become confrontational and attacking. They use aggressive and needless confrontation for stress management - 'dumping' their tension on others.
Their relationships tend to be intense, persecutory & relatively short-lived & relentlessly demoralising - like male tyrant or nagging female stereotypes.
Often as the childhood victim of over-critical fault-finding and controlling behaviour - they have witnessed other family members being humiliated by similar treatment and have learned to imitate these patterns.
Alternatively - getting their own way too easily - their strong personality was insufficiently bounded . If attractive or intelligent they frequently develop narcissistic characteristics and can radiate manipulative charm. With a powerful sense of entitlement & an inability to make allowances for others or to accept criticism.they react with aggressive behaviour when thwarted.
In neither case is there a secure sense of the self in relation to the world - with all the disappointments, limitations and imperfections this entails.
Often envious they rarely express jealous feelings directly - but undermine or control others and put them down to maintain their own sense of superiority.
Often they have Type-A temperaments - powerful driving and striving coupled with perfectionism - and unreasonable demands and expectations of others. Generally there is deep un-acknowledged unhappiness, a sense of never having enough feeling little satisfaction with any aspect of life. They seek security through being negative toward & scornful of others.
The big physio-psychological shifts required to effect change are usually resisted because relatively extreme demands and mind states are habitual. These behaviours often generate much physical and mental tension which cuts subjects off from healthy sensitivities - so that they .cannot detect how stressed they are. To recover, they must be shifted away from pressurised baselines through behavioural & physical exercises and hypnotic strategies
Benefits from anger management techniques are unlikely without prior attention to underlying difficulties. Subjects seldom offer themselves or rarely go any effective distance in treatment without very skilful management.
Generally partners & adult children, who pay a very high price for these behaviours, will benefit from therapeutic help to deal with the fallout.
Contact Keith Bibby Copyright ©Keith Bibby - Clapham January 2011
Not Half Full
0208 673 6311
Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy - Anger Negativity Aggression
Clapham Common, London, Balham, Tooting Bec, Tooting, Streatham, Brixton,
Kennington, Hampstead via Northern Line, Central London SW1, SW3, SW4,
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0208 673 6311 - email@example.com - 35yrs Full-time Experience