COMMON MISUNDERSTANDINGS  



Relatively straightforward difficulties and misunderstandings arise from an under-developed capacity to hear or to see things from the other partner’s viewpoint.

Counselling level skills are appropriate to deal with many of these issues.


Couple & Relationship Therapy is generally more complicated.  Partners may import deeper ‘business’ to the issue. This can be a mix of what happened in their family of origin ( present or absent ) - relationships between their own parents or caregivers - however adequate or otherwise - maybe experience from previous failed relationships. These often exert unconscious influence.


What it means to be a partner :-


What it means to be in a couple relationship may be misunderstood.  Some mistakenly continue with the same priorities they had whilst unattached.  Others have unrealistic hopes and expectations. Some hit unexpectedly large difficulties - despite best intentions. Sometimes people expect too much of themselves or their partner !


Inadequate Relationship Model


Some couples start from more complex beginnings.   One or both may come from chaotic or badly dysfunctional families. Poor relationship models from childhood are often coupled with unstable personal relationship history. The pair often need help to equip themselves with skills to create a stable dynamic and get their relationship into balance. Otherwise they will experience various ‘ interesting times’.

Openness & Evasion :-


All relationships encounter difficulties.  These may not be openly expressed. Evasions create anxiety, erode mutual respect or interest, and heighten susceptibility to the real or imagined attraction of others.  Often a couple is not connecting but resorting to old views, prejudices and defensive imaginings rather than  dealing with present situations, persons & predicaments.


Relationship breakdown :-

Even where a parting is inevitable,  it is usually experienced with sadness and a deep sense of disappointment & failure. Breaking one unresolved relationship - having learned little or nothing from it - in order to to chance one’s arm with another often proves unwise and a matter for regret.


Wisely people would consider bringing their partners to explore some of  the missing material with a therapist - or at least get a clearer understanding of the scale of their individual challenges - before they break up - or make a commitment  !





If any of these sound like things you need to address - I could well be your man.


 

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                                  Ericksonian Relationship & Couple Counselling

                                         Keith Bibby   35yrs Full-time Experience                                                      Bsc(Hons) Dip EHL/NLP FCRAH ECP UKCP                                           0208 673 6311                        bibbyk@globalnet.co.uk                         Contact Keith Bibby                                        >>  Return