Many couples coming to couples therapy are initially nervous of the process and the
possible outcomes. But this aims to be a cooperative enterprise - rather than some
elegant form of unarmed combat. Couples usually find this way of working fascinating,
challenging and liberating.
My aims in couples counselling are :-
- to identify the patterns that seem to underlie your difficulties and to
detect the processes that appear to drive them
- to explore, elaborate & confirm with you, individually and jointly, the
significance of the emerging relationship processes & patterns
- to identify the way your individual and joint perceptions and
behaviour trigger & maintain these relationship patterns & processes
- to suggest and explore with you ways in which damaging patterns can
be changed - good patterns can be amplified and developed - misunderstandings
can be resolved and other difficulties overcome
To those committed to finding solutions - even quite powerful difficulties need take
no more than two or three individual sessions, plus a series of perhaps a half-a-dozen
combined couple counselling sessions.
In my many years' experience, whatever the eventual outcome, both partners usually
benefit substantially. They acquire valuable new relationship skills, greater emotional
capability and confidence in their own potential. They also enhance their mutual
respect and trust in each other for the future.
Joint couple sessions benefit most from 90 mins to 2 hours sessions - whilst shorter
sessions may be appropriate for individual consultation.
My schedule deliberately allows for flexibility. I can make weekend appointments
for couples unable to attend in the daytime or evening. I also reserve time each
day to be able to respond to emergencies.
Whilst many people imagine that couples counselling involves just talking about things,
effective work requires very dedicated concentration on all our parts. Even though
you will find you are fully engaged, you may also find sessions demanding and tiring
- even though you enjoy them. You need to take account of this in making your arrangements.
Because of the demands of the work I restrict the total number of client sessions
I conduct per week. Clients should realise that I schedule my work to balance the
load and demands made by different cases. It is impossible to re-schedule these
arrangements at short notice. You will therefore need to be aware of my cancellation
All sessions are totally confidential. I find it very helpful to hold both joint
sessions and individual sessions with each partner separately. In this I way get
a proper appreciation of the underlying individual dynamics - enabling me to make
as productive a set of interventions as possible.
No disclosure made in individual sessions is conveyed from any party to another.
My role is to assist the couple to progress to a resolution of their difficulties
as effectively and constructively as possible.