Decision making is something we do in countless ways each day. Most decisions are
so trivial that we hardly notice. Sometimes we do it without proper regard to the
context. Unconsciously stepping into the road without looking might have a very bad
outcome. Popping yet another chocolate in your mouth might take longer.
Conscious decisions are not very different. Often we think we know what we should
have done after the event. This is often a rationalisation. Sometimes we ignore
intuition - knowing it was wrong at the time. Afterwards we ask ' Why didn't
I listen to myself ? ' The answer ?....... ' I decided not to ! ’......... But
did I ?
Some decisions are primarily practical, some logical, some emotional. Most are mixtures
of all three. There is a huge range of tools for analysis of practical decisions
( see footnote ) but personal dilemmas generally require something much more subtle.
Consider terminating a pregnancy, leaving a partner, revealing a withheld secret,
moving house or changing jobs. In matters like this decision-making is far more complex
- and feelings are much more vulnerable. Though we may need emotional support it
may be difficult to find the right balance between sympathetic and objective help
from friends and acquaintances.
Without proper decision support, you may find it hard to remain focused and objective
in deciding what to do. An experienced professional could offer timely and effective
Whether the decision is relatively simple and quick - or complex and drawn out -
it is good to be able to be decisive. Thinking more broadly - this means being comfortable
with your decisions - and ready to accept responsibility for them.
In order to achieve this you need to understand that decisions are constructed. Before
taking decisions you need to go through process of making a decision in a structured
Those who seem to know how to make a decision usually had good models in parents
or teachers. Those who know how to make good decisions are more rare.
Making decisions is a process which can be learned and developed to a fine art. If
you don’t know already - ou too can learn how to do that.
35 yrs of Behavioural Science Enquiry and Therapeutic Practice have exposed me to
a vast range of predicaments and dilemmas. Sufficient to appreciate and sympathise
with the complications many people encounter in their lives.
There may well be elements of the problem or your behaviour of which you feel ashamed
or are fearful of sharing. Anything you tell me is entirely confidential. Neither
do I make judgements. But we need to work with truth in order to be able to resolve
difficulties properly. You will need me to be clear - perhaps to help you address
This requires the capacity for calm and constructive exploration of circumstances
and an imaginative approach - possibly to expand the available options.
Hypnotic work & NLP can strengthen you with a sense of calm and resourcefulness in
relation to your present difficulties. This can assist you - in a safe and manageable
way - to see the essentials in complex situations and find a clear way forward.
Sometimes there is no comfortable solution. It may come down to identifying the least
worst option. It can be helpful to have support through the pain of making a difficult
choice - until you are able to establish a new balance.
Whatever the difficulty you can be sure you will receive emotional help and emotional
support while you decide.
It is important to be able to take action and to own your decision. You need to
make the right decision so that can sit comfortably inside you.
Remember - others may help me decide - but the right decision for me is my decision.
Footnote - See http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_02.htm