Decision making is something we do in countless ways each day. Most decisions are so trivial that we hardly notice. Sometimes we do it without proper regard to the context. Unconsciously stepping into the road without looking might have a very bad outcome. Popping yet another chocolate in your mouth might take longer.
Conscious decisions are not very different. Often we think we know what we should have done after the event. This is often a rationalisation. Sometimes we ignore intuition - knowing it was wrong at the time. Afterwards we ask ' Why didn't I listen to myself ? ' The answer ?....... ' I decided not to ! ’......... But did I ?
Some decisions are primarily practical, some logical, some emotional. Most are mixtures of all three. There is a huge range of tools for analysis of practical decisions ( see footnote ) but personal dilemmas generally require something much more subtle.
Consider terminating a pregnancy, leaving a partner, revealing a withheld secret, moving house or changing jobs. In matters like this decision-making is far more complex - and feelings are much more vulnerable. Though we may need emotional support it may be difficult to find the right balance between sympathetic and objective help from friends and acquaintances.
Without proper decision support, you may find it hard to remain focused and objective in deciding what to do. An experienced professional could offer timely and effective assistance.
Whether the decision is relatively simple and quick - or complex and drawn out - it is good to be able to be decisive. Thinking more broadly - this means being comfortable with your decisions - and ready to accept responsibility for them.
In order to achieve this you need to understand that decisions are constructed. Before taking decisions you need to go through process of making a decision in a structured way.
Those who seem to know how to make a decision usually had good models in parents or teachers. Those who know how to make good decisions are more rare.
Making decisions is a process which can be learned and developed to a fine art. If you don’t know already - ou too can learn how to do that.
35 yrs of Behavioural Science Enquiry and Therapeutic Practice have exposed me to a vast range of predicaments and dilemmas. Sufficient to appreciate and sympathise with the complications many people encounter in their lives.
There may well be elements of the problem or your behaviour of which you feel ashamed or are fearful of sharing. Anything you tell me is entirely confidential. Neither do I make judgements. But we need to work with truth in order to be able to resolve difficulties properly. You will need me to be clear - perhaps to help you address difficult realities.
This requires the capacity for calm and constructive exploration of circumstances and an imaginative approach - possibly to expand the available options.
Hypnotic work & NLP can strengthen you with a sense of calm and resourcefulness in relation to your present difficulties. This can assist you - in a safe and manageable way - to see the essentials in complex situations and find a clear way forward.
Sometimes there is no comfortable solution. It may come down to identifying the least worst option. It can be helpful to have support through the pain of making a difficult choice - until you are able to establish a new balance.
Whatever the difficulty you can be sure you will receive emotional help and emotional support while you decide.
It is important to be able to take action and to own your decision. You need to make the right decision so that can sit comfortably inside you.
Remember - others may help me decide - but the right decision for me is my decision.
Footnote - See http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_02.htm
Copyright ©Keith Bibby - Clapham January 2011 >> Situation Specific Blocks & Crises
Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy for
make a decision
how to make good decisions
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Keith Bibby Hypnotherapy Psychotherapy & NLP - London Clapham Common
Personal Decision Making & Emotional Support
35 yrs FULL TIME Behavioural Science Experience - UKCP Registered Practitioner