Be Assertive -Bargain-Challenge Colleagues -Bullying -Authority
( Aggressive Colleagues -Subordinates -Authority Figures -Wield Authority )
( Negotiate -Manage Disagreement -Opposition -Criticism )
To manage disagreement and deal constructively with opposition or criticism requires clarity of mind and considerable skill and patience.
Often within both family relationships and social settings people can find it difficult to be assertive, bargain or negotiate in a productive way. Undue pressure may be experienced at work where it comes to asserting a position or disagreeing robustly with others. Many with responsibilities for directing others are often unable to wield authority with ease.
Many avoid issues but suffer frustration because they are too frightened to be angry or to express anger - either because of the reaction they may get - or because they cannot trust themselves to retain control or dignity.
Similar insecurities may cause others not to challenge those bullying, driving or otherwise aggressing subordinates.
Finding an appropriate balance in social and working relationships requires confidence in the management of boundaries and understanding how to structure these things with proper respect for oneself and others.
Working with opposition and discovering how to or steer working relationships in the direction of constructive criticism can be an interesting and worthy challenge.
Sometimes however one encounter a driving or aggressive colleague, boss or subordinate where the going in some areas just gets to be too tough.
Moderate to serious personality disorder can be detected more commonly than one would hope amongst high-flying ‘successful’ executives. Sometimes the need is to learn to recognise where a challenge is too steep and the potential outcome too unpromising to make the fight worthwhile - and to manage the impossible situation until one can find a way out or leave.
It is hard to arrive at a proper view and reach right decisions in such matters unless one knows how to operate with authority oneself.
There is a set of process skills and personal strategies which can be learned which develop the right kind of strategic awareness. How to do this is different for every individual. It often takes expert analysis and guidance to identify where your deficiencies are and the efficient routes to get you to the right place.
In my practice most clients discover how to turn it round within a few weeks.
Copyright ©Keith Bibby - Clapham January 2011 >> Contact Keith Bibby < Back