Some people seem to bring confidence to everything they do. You can see Confidence
in the way they stand and move. They flow with confidence, freely and smoothly through
all sorts of situations. Their voice is firm and assured. They can look you in the
eye and talk to anyone with ease and confidence. They believe in themselves and have
self confidence - and never seem stuck for the right thing to say or do.
They may not be particularly bright or exceptional at what they do - but because
they have confidence they get on easily with people. They seem to enjoy success
in their job or career. And confidence is infectious. People like to be around those
who can be confident in just the right way. Being relaxed and confident in social
settings also brings success in sexual encounters and relationships. Altogether,
having confidence can add enormously to your quality of life.
What Causes Lack of Confidence ?
Like a personal shock absorber, confidence enables us to flow smoothly and freely
through all sorts of ups and downs. If your confidence fails - or you haven't got
it - people can read the signals. Even without blushing, stammering or cowed silence,
a lack of confidence may be read in the faintest shake in a voice, or talking slightly
too fast - a slight hesitancy or an awkward gesture.
Ideally our feelings of confidence should be adequate for most situations we encounter.
But our level of confidence can vary and be affected by circumstances.
Sometimes a chance remark can throw us off balance - or tap a sensitivity or weakness
that has been there since childhood. Or particular people or situations - maybe
linked with earlier experiences - can generate undue apprehension or uncertainty.
Or at other times life has been difficult or unkind. We can have had an emotional
upset, ill health or a run of misfortune. Our confidence sometimes seems to have
ebbed away - leaving us feeling deflated and resource-less.
How to Approach Low Confidence
In all these situations it is important recover confidence as quickly as possible
and to look confident and be able to operate effectively again.
Mere sympathy and positive affirmations won't achieve this. To succeed in developing
or rekindling your confidence you need properly constructed and joined up strategies.
My 35 yrs of Behavioural Science Experience has evolved techniques which can vastly
accelerate this process.
Though non confident behaviours are easily recognised, the underlying - unconscious
- patterns are very individual & may be complex. It requires precise analysis to
find out how they are constructed. Where the pattern is complicated - with self sacrificing
or co-dependent patterns - or very low self esteem - the issues require more intensive
Treatment - Creating & Boosting Confidence
Whatever the level of difficulty, cognitive behavioural strategies are useful in
deconstructing negative thought patterns and reactions. We analyse and take apart
situations and reactions which have given rise to past and present difficulties.
We work out your confidence building priorities. Firstly - what you need to deal
with more immediate situations and difficulties. We also identify the general - longer
term changes you would like to achieve. Then we begin to reconstruct.
Negative self perceptions, inner states and dialogues are re-fashioned using Ericksonian
Hypnosis & NLP technique. Carefully devised exercises and experimental tasks enable
you to think about and experience yourself operating with confidence - in spontaneously
You practice your developing skills - increasing confidence and success in more and
more varied situations. We analyse and expand on successful developments. Very
quickly you find yourself refining the process and generating new possibilities
A poor self-image is transformed - you begin to feel much better about yourself.
Naturally positive attitudes and behaviour become energised and freely available
- enabling life to be re-engaged with confident new strategies. These expand and
consolidate your new found sense of self confidence.
Thus through boosting confidence and self esteem you achieve two goals - you learn
how to :-
be yourself with confidence ..... & ......
conduct yourself and do things with confidence
You feel easily in charge of your daily life, and feel better and think well about
your self. In fact - in all the ways you feel and what you do - YOU ARE CONFIDENT
You will acquire plenty of automatic self help resources and support to move on -
knowing how to deal with life's challenges competently and well.